happy 20th b'day yan! ....... cya soon dorville...

yanny just turned 20 yesterday!! 23 june.. yeah.. well, the birthday hype in the family sort of died down after we all passed a certain age. i suppose it gets really boring to celebrate at least 4 times a year... having 4 cakes... you know, especially when our birthdays comes in pairs (yan & peng - june, lin and i - oct/nov)

so yes.. we went out for dinner!! lol.. BUFFET dinner to be exact, at sakura, opposite john little/near cine.. its about 26+ per person? so for the 5 of us, plus GST, it amounted to about $139! lol.. expensive, but its like for an occasion, so i suppose a rare, nice dinner out together is alright once in a while.

to be honest, its not the best buffet i ever had.. not that i've been to alot.. well, the trays go empty often... they look empty most of the time.. like SPARSE.. and the variety is not fantastic, and some times i dont feel like eating whatever is offered. just not extremely appetising.. though i must say, their dory fish is fresh, light and palatable... quite pleasant :) OH! their truffles is REALLY nice.. lin kept going back for more! lol.. and they had quite an interesting range of ice cream : ) with rainbow sprinkles! hahaha..

i suppose i'm more of the dessert person, and i totally approve of their dessert line! they have nyonya kuehs and desserts too! thats pretty nice :) i like..

the people didnt allow photography of the food display there.. and THE ONLY CAMERA WE HAD WAS SCREWING UP *hint hint*, so we only took a few pics..

the buffet line is behind...

lemonade..blackcurrent..
peach tea, ice lemon tea, green tea, all the F&N stuff.. you name it!

take 1: i blocked peng's face.

take 2: yan poked her fork with cake in our pic!

...

well there's no take 3! lol..

yan and mummy

lin's face.

erm yeah.. see what i mean by sparse?

YUMMY!! the truffle was gone before this picture was even taken! lol..



thats us :)

yup! well.. dorville is on the plane now to aussie land.. we sent her off just now. its pretty sad that most of the guys are in army and they couldnt make it to send dorville off :( well.. the pillow with everyone's contribution really looks good!! lol.. i spent the whole day just touching up! haha..

hi dorville, if you read this, have fun over there.. and i know you'll totally enjoy studying now! so much so its not going to be called studying, you're going to pursue your interests!! so lucky.. take care of yourself k? and we'll see you back in feb!!

well its been a month already.. since i last updated. and.. everything is alright :) the kiam chye soup today that mummy made doesnt taste like what i'm used to.. its far from how mama makes it... oh well.......

anyways, i've started blogging again because this can be a means of communication with you and because you asked me to :) but i dont have a camera to take down my life out here to show you dear!! can i borrow your's please? this blog has been gloomy for too long now..... it needs some life back, some colour!

k i need to go offline and get ready for tomorrow... gotta wake up super early to go for my medical checkup!! lol.. meeting jolene at the bus stop so we can go there together, and get it over and done with!

and.. maybe i'll get my PDL next week, or tomorrow! haha, i duno. then i can start cheonging my driving!! if i go by school, i can get a test date earlier.

RAAARRrrrr i miss you dan..

yang owns a salad spinner :D

to be read again next may 20

the past week had been, by far, the worst tornado i've ever been through.

everything squeesed into one short week.

future yang reading this, remember this week. because it made you stronger, reminded you of the value of life and the people that are part of it, it made you realise that a moment of slack can have huge consequences.

thank you for every memory. there's no one else like you..

i'm sorry for that one empty promise. i can never make it up now.. if only i had put in more effort. now all i can do is regret and hate myself for it. and also about that one wednesday night. its unforgivable and this regret will always cling onto my thoughts.

so many if onlys.

i hate it that i cant do anything about it now.

its been a week already... 7 days... nobody should have to go through this, but everybody will.

thank you shu, ed, py, min and dan.. for being there when i'm most shattered.

the earth will still spin, and life will have to go on..

i love you mama.

Dear Cosmos

i've been looking through my old entries... some on this blog, and some from the other older blog that saw me through most of my best years..

what i came out of that little reflection of my past was that.. i sort of miss it.

it was so exciting, so thrilling.. so many things to expect and anticipate.. so many unknowns waiting to be found out.. my heart went through trials and tribulations.. so many people came and left.. there was so much to think about.. most of them happy, and i was for most of the time, very very wonderfully tired. i loved it.

right now?

i'm just tired. for no odd reason or whatsoever. i need more in my life right now. i want more to look forward to.

i suppose my priorities have changed and my preferece for unpredictability is slowly turning into a yearn for some stability in my life.. at least for some aspects of it. of which little was granted. but then again, i miss the excitement! sometimes i feel that my life is not as colourful as it can be at this current moment. i'm totally NOT living life to the absolute MAX; something i believed in all these time. i'm not who i want to be right now.

there's so many things i dont like happening around me, things that i cannot control or change.. and the consequences of these happenings too, have gotten me worried scared. i need to feel that i can do something about this, and actually DO something about it. i need to know that i can change things, and that i'm not alone in this pursuit and that you'll be there to actively help me and not leave things idle and simply shrug it off as something i cannot do anyting about but just have to get used to.....

i need some solid assurance. i've seen lots of effort, and i appreciate it alot. it calms me temporarily.. but my jitters dont seem to disspipate.

in the mean time i'm trying to save myself from falling into the pits of depression. i've been tring to get something to occupy my free floating mind from wandering too far off from sanity. hopefully the cosmos will throw me a lifeline and a chocolate energy bar, cause i can't live like this any longer.

all you need is love

yeah. 'wth?' that was what i thought when shu and ed first mentioned it to me. it did take some time for me to decide that i'm actually going, though right from the start i sort of knew i'd attend it anyhow, just cause the peeps were going and i really wanted to see whats going on.

see, my dear friend ed, is not the typical girl you'd encounter everyday. she accepts, but is not... and sometimes she raves about it... and gets caught in it herself.. (well honestly, ed i dont know what you are. haha. doesnt matter anyway, even though you irritate me sometimes, i still love you very much.) she's pretty interested in going and supports the movement, plus shu was going, so i figured..""why not".

"i'll come and i'll hold my boyfriend's hand"

it took a bit more effort than usual to persuade dan to come along with me. he's usually very giving and agreeable with me. such a nice boy. initially he asked " arent you a homophobe?" and i was like.. "sort of.. but.." and he agreed to go with me. but then the day before he was quite unwilling, though not unwilling enough to disagree with me :)

i chose not to wear pink. i wore red. see, red is not pink, but its a relative.. so i'm giving a statement that says i'm not full on YEAH! but i'm sorta ok with it.. (dan claims he doesnt have a pink shirt- you liar! i know you do!) well if it makes a difference, i did tie my hair with a pink rubber band instead of the orange one i had on earlier.. haha

right. so came the event. well i did feel a little awkward. ok no, i felt really out of place, but after spotting shu's face in the crowd, BOY was i relieved... haha. new friends kelly and rachel! hello hello.. everyone was enjoying the happy atmosphere :) those male pussycat dolls can sure move! and the bangra (whatever was seen through the forest of people) was quite facinating...

as i held dan's hand, everyone formed the pink dot that represented acceptance, love, freedom to express themselves, understanding.... and everything that the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) society needs here in our little red dot. it was really quite something to see so many people in our rather rigid society showing up to help voice this cause :)

i've decided that... i still feel a tad uncomfortable with it, but as long as this form of love is not directed towards me at the end of the day, i suppose its ok for people to express their love, no matter the nature of the love given or who its given to... its LOVE after all, and everyone deserves to give and recieve this precious gift. as long as no harm is done in the process, i suppose it is alright.

thanks dan, for coming with me :) i love you.

I love kids