while printing my hope dress pattern.. haha how ironic.

its nice to have something to come back to and spill my thoughts out :) thanks bloggie

haha its starting to look like i'm a super emo person. lol... and everything in my life seems to be in a downcast mode. haha.. i dunno.... i'm just.. i dont know. a little lost right now.

honestly, i dont want to lose what i have with you. its been amazing most of the time.. but its those times that are not that make me doubt that you really love me.

maybe i'm just thinking too much..

but then again.. there must be a reason why i'm actaually feeling like this right? i'm not receiving enough back... haha and its looking like a disappointing emotional investment. should i just drop this share and buy another?

i dont think you realise what i've been trying to tell you. i need attention. i need love and concern- lots of it. i've told you from the beginning about my needs, so its not like i'm getting increasingly demanding, or that you went into this blind.......

i used to know what to do.. me and my ideas to fix things, fix everything, no problem. but now i dont anymore. because even if i had an idea.. you dont seem to want to do it. yes, you used to be willing to do things for me, just to make me happy. not anymore.. now it seems like you're using army as a shield or excuse, saying its army making you tired, stressed, taking up all your time.

i dont believe in having no opportunities. there will always be one. and its up to the person to seize hold of it. if you really wanted something, i'm sure you wouldnt mind sleeping an hour less, turning around and taking the bus back to where you came from just to give someone a hug she needs so badly sometimes. there's always the opportunity... but its all up to you to make it into something great.

yeah i used to know what to do.. but without your willingness to do anything.. my ideas will just be another evidence for me expecting too much and forcing you to do something you dont want to.

so what now?

just yesterday... when you had the opportunity to meet up with me, you chose not to.. and then told me you have no opportunity... and went on to say that you're stressed.

i'm sorry but i dont see the link. its just pointing to how you dont want to meet me at all, right?

ok lets not think too much yang. boys are confusing.

i want a man.